Messi To Join Austin FC?

Would be a lot cooler if he did!

But in all honesty, it really shouldn’t be a surprise to see Messi join the MLS. After all, it’s become the new hot trend for European stars (Beckhan, Zlatan) to do a victory lap or two in the MLS before hanging up their cleats.

Now the haters will say — yeah, Messi might join the MLS but he’s going to do so in LA or Miami, not Austin. They’ll argue Messi is a gym, tan, laundry, beach type of guy — which is fair:

HOWEVER, Messi is also a guy who loves winning — the dude has a club-record 33 trophies, including ten La Liga titles, four UEFA Champions League titles and six Copas del Rey. And as everyone knows, Austin is a winning city. Vince Young, ever heard of him? Not to mention, we have a winning ownership group led by THE Matthew McConaughey. Bottom line, if you are a 5′ 7” soccer god and want to play in a winning culture, then Austin, Texas is just the place for you.

Most importantly though, Austin FC is the new, fresh, sexy team of the MLS. And Messi is of course a HUGE fan of all things new, fresh and sexy:

So don’t be surprised to see Messi in 2021 enjoying a marg as he cruises down Lake Austin on his way to Ski Shores for some queso and mini corndogs.

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